That Old Familiar Feeling

Hello again! Well, today I’m going to get a little personal and just sort of write.

Last night I had a dream. In this dream, I was with my current boyfriend and it was set up in any day now. Anyways, it involved a friend of mine and I going out to a cafe to eat and hang out. Let’s call my friend J. So J and I are just sitting there and this guy walks up that works there to talk to us. Turns out that I’d met him previously. (It was one of those guys, however, that you have no idea who they are in real life, a mysterious face in a dream.) So, here we are and J had to run out and talk on his phone to his girlfriend. Mystery man and I keep talking and he makes me laugh, makes me smile a lot in general and just give me butterflies. He has to walk away for a minute and I said, “Make sure you talk to me a little before I leave.” A bunch of people then walk in and between us, he reaches his hand out and grabs my hand and says, “Wait for me for two minutes and I’ll give you twenty minutes of undivided attention afterwards.” As he had grabbed my hand, I felt that rush and those butterflies you feel the first time the person you have a crush on touches you affectionately. Just then, J came in and he had to leave. And then I woke up.

When I woke up, I laid there a minute and just watched my boyfriend sleep. He’s everything to me. I love him more than I can express. But sometimes, I miss that feeling. That rush you have in the beginning of a relationship. That rush is amazing when you first hold the hand of your latest crush and when they walk away from you, you can’t help but smile the whole time. Every once in awhile, when you’re in a long term relationship, you miss that. To realize that you probably just had your last first kiss is insane. Once you strip away that need to impress them and that need to be mysterious, you have left this type of relationship you’re comfortable with completely. It is pretty amazing, but it can be monotomous. That’s life I guess. Just remember, once you find that great relationship that you want for the rest of your life, you have to make it fun. You have to keep excitement around and you have to have time for yourself still. If you live together, it is so important to have you time also and it’s okay to have your own separate pieces of life that enjoy. That’s all for now, until next time.

An-Y

Judgement Day

How much do I love meeting people? Every new person I meet gives me a new insight on life. Early today I met this woman who seemed to have it all. She works for a MAJOR company and had moved up since she started a mere two years ago. Now this woman is making six figures a year and wearing gorgeous dress suits and jewelry. She seemed happy. She has a brand new BMW. She has this cute little Yorky puppy that she adores and this seemingly perfect life. The kicker was that she’s 30 and I’m not kidding looks 21 years old. No wrinkles anywhere near her face, perfect figure, perfect stature. It’s amazing how much you assume things when you meet people like her. I figured she has this amazing job and this perfect life. In my job, I meet all sorts of people and I generally get to talk to them for long periods of time. Her and I started out in some small talk and she ended up exposing most of her life story to me. She went on to say she grew up in this 10 bedroom mansion of a home where her father was a stock broker. They lived in this nice home and went to the best schools and events possible. He put her through school and she now has a masters degree and owns her own business on the side of her career. She sounded so happy, so blessed in life. Being the human being I am, I began to resent her. I know that if I grew up that way, I could have been as happy as she was right now, I could be at the best university and not worrying about money issues. While I was daydreaming about the wonder that could be my life had I had her childhood and family, she began to cry. Out of nowhere. I was so shocked that I said, “Uh, something wrong?”, like an idiot. She said some things that made no sense under her tears and then she really started talking. To make a long story short, her father was a major adulterer. He cheated on her Mom more times than she could count and her mother knew every single time. They were open about it. As she desribed it, it sounded like her Mother was more of a housekeeper and nanny than anything to the family. Her father and her brothers were convinced that her and their mother were just women anyways and had no authority. Down the road, this woman was the only one of her and her 5 brothers that was accepted into college. Her father paid the way in for her brothers, but she attended Brown University and ended up with a 4.0 the whole way. She became Daddy’s little girl in his eyes, but she never forgave him for the past. By this point in the story, my mouth had dropped. This seemingly perfect family had more issues than most people probably ever knew. Then it seemed to get worse. Due to her childhood and her parent’s relationship, she actually swore off men. She wouldn’t even date in high school. At one point she attempted to seek a lesbian relationship because she despised men so much. She learned she didn’t have sexual or emotional ties to women in that way. So she started dating in college. She dated the wrong men, the right men and even a possible “the one” man and she turned all of them away. The longest relationship she’d had was with the possible “the one” man and that lasted a mere three months. He said he loved her, she was too scared to love him and broke it off. She’d regretted it ever since. As the story went on, I learned her insecurities, her trials and everything else. She hadn’t had this easy life everyone would think as they look at her from afar. After our talk, she walked away and I sat in awe. This woman walked away with a smile on her face and that perfect walk she had. Just like that, she threw the wall back up and she was super woman. I’ll never forget her. I’ll never forget the lesson she taught me, never assume anything, you have NO idea what someone else has been through or gone through in their life. This is why gossip is so wrong. This is why people are misjudged everyday and you could have missed out a true friendship or a true love. It’s amazing how someone can surprise you. And how new friendships can spring out of a talk that came out of nowhere. I’ll be thinking about her tonight and hoping she knows that I feel for her and if no one else does, I understand her and respect her.

Just had to share that little story. It was quite an interesting night, definitely gives you something to think about….

Until next time, Email me with any topics or questions!,

An-Y

Easter Wishes and Goodbye Kisses

First off, Happy Easter everyone! I hope yours was much more eventful than mine has been thus far.

When I decided upon opening this new blog I had high hopes for its future. I still do, I mean, this is day two only haha. Anyways, since I don’t have many readers or any at all that I know of, I’m going to take a question I was posed with earlier by a friend and act as if someone had asked me in an email or something. (Note: I’m not trying to say this is to be an advice blog, but it can be. I just want to give an honest, woman’s opinion on certain issues, I think it can be beneficial.) I do plan on presenting regular blog things here also.

Q: My girlfriend of a year and two months broke up with me three weeks ago. At first, I was real upset, she said she needed to not see me for awhile. We have the same friends now and it’ll be hard. Anyways, her Mom was out of town a few nights ago and we ran into each other at the gas station. She asked me what I was doing, I said nothing but that I’d like to talk. So I went to her place. We talked awhile. I got upset and honestly started crying. She was upset too and we ended up kissing. One thing led to another and we fooled around a little bit. Afterwards, I felt like she wanted me to leave and I did. Now, she won’t answer my calls and when I’d left, I clearly was smiling and happy and thought good things, whereas she was just kind of like, okay thanks, bye. What the hell?

A: Okay, are you ready for the most honest answer I can give you, she got what she wanted. She doesn’t want to get back with you. She was done a long time ago, (I knew this for a fact since I know them in real life). Now this doesn’t exactly make her a bad person, but she was horny. She was used to having you there to please her whenever the hell she wanted for that long and now she nonchalantly led you to the bedroom to “talk” and you end up pleasing her? She’s a bitch for actually letting you think you had a chance again, but she was horny. She knew she’d get you to fulfill her needs if she got you in her bedroom. It was a very nasty trick. Suck in your pride and shrug it off. You have a long relationship and love to get over. If you see her again, don’t get dragged back into the mess. Tell her you know it’s best that you two aren’t alone like that. Tell her you have a thing to get to with friends, that’ll piss her off. She deserves it. Men aren’t the only ones with sexual needs. Remember that. Sex is meaningful to most girls, but you’ve seen her naked and you want her so much that she doesn’t care what happens sexually anymore. It’s sad, but that’s a raw nature that everyone has sometimes. It happens. It sucks. I’m sorry.

I basically told him that and he was so pleased with me. He called me awhile ago and he did see her. She asked what he was doing and he said he had plans with some new girls he met. Yeah, sort of jerky to do, but he said it was worth the look in her eyes. These two are barely out of high school, so that immature nature is still natural to them. Gotta admire the craziness of love…

Until next time loves,

An-Y

Female Form

Two things today, topics revolving around women….

Funny conversation was had about a week ago…someone was discussing threesomes and the girl had said she would be with a girl and a guy if she were even in one. The guy instantly accused her of being bisexual. I had to address this situation from my aspect. A reason that I and many other girls feel that two men at the same time isn’t sexy revolves around a few different ideals. First off, the male form is not all that appealing. Men, as a whole, do not have a beautiful structure. A woman on the other hand, is much more artistic to view. Secondly, two dicks inside of me at once is pretty creepy. I have no desire to have anal, been there done that, and didn’t like it. And to give another man head while trying to get fucked from behind just doesn’t work well I would think. There’s too much movement and to give head at the same time would take so much concentration that the sex wouldn’t even be good! Overall, I just don’t think two men at once would be enjoyable nor comfortable. As for the list a threesome with another woman would be sexy..first of all, the female form is beautiful. Women are beautiful. Women can look at each other and genuinely say that “She’s sexy” or “She’s attractive” and not be weirded out by that. Most straight men cannot as easily say that about another man. Half of the time I’m told by men what I see in another man as sexy is strange. And it’s not! (Why don’t men get why Johnny Depp is so fucking hot?!) Women are sexy. Breasts are sexy and interesting. Women are smooth, soft and sensual. There’s so much to love about the female form. Don’t get me wrong now, this is my first real post and believe me, I love men. I love everything about sex with a man. But if a threesome arose, I’d choose one girl and one guy any day. To kiss and feel and play with a gorgeous woman and still have a man around, sure why not? So if you ever meet a girl who shares that same emotion, understand her point of view. If you’re a straight man, this shouldn’t be difficult to get, I mean, you love women, why can’t she share some of your views?

This brings me to strip clubs. Since I was about 15 years old, I’ve been intrigued by strip clubs. More and more these days, women and couples go into them and enjoy them, but many women, I think, are still too self conscious to enter them if they actually wanted to. Why do I feel this way? Because I am one. I used to fantasize that I had the confidence to strip. I would picture this elegant gentleman’s club where the girls still had class and that I worked there. I would imagine that men would watch me and find me gorgeous and women would envy me. I know most clubs aren’t this classy, but few still do exist. I think th reason this strange thought has crossed my mind revolves around a worry that I’m unsexy and trying to believe it’d be possible to be a sexy, classy and glamourous stripper. Who knows….I know I’d never have the confidence to ever do such a thing, but a piece of me still wishes I could. To feel that sexy and to feel that confident of my body would be amazing. There’s something sensual and empowering hidden under the demeaning manor of all of it. Many women find it disgusting and demeaning, that’s your opinion, but I think in some senses, it’d be releasing. Every woman wants to feel sexy and wanted. Even married or attached women want other men to hit on them and make them feel gorgeous. That’s just human nature. Anyways, back to clubs, a lot of friends of mine have expressed their desire to enter a strip club, but they are a little nervous. I understand what they mean. You would worry to appear into it, someone may say something to you or just as a woman, being unsure how you’re supposed to act. But again, the female form is beautiful. Women are sexy, why can’t I understand that and enjoy that as much as any straight man? Who knows….

*In the future, understand that several of the straightest girls I know share all the same emotion about this, they get drunk and tell me. Why can’t someone just say these things sober and with confidence? Ah, the beauty of being anonymous, I can just sit here and say anything, haha.*

Until we meet again,
An-Y

Embrace Life

Hello world of the bored, the emotional, the expressive and the stalker. You can call me An-Y (like Annie), no that’s not my real name, but it’s easier than constantly referring to myself as Anonymous Love or Anonymously Yours. I’m in the process of getting the fabulous blog ready for the perverse and the innocent of the web. Soon, you’ll find many things here that I hope will entertain you as well as me. I plan to just let out that real emotion that life has to offer. I plan on letting anyone who reads this lay out topics they may want to hear my opinion on…basically, I’m going to remain completely anonymous. Why? I want to filter the everyday art of sugar coating or bullshit from my this here blog. When your friends read your supposed inner thoughts blogs, you lie. You don’t want to express an emotion or thought that they may criticize you for in the future. You get scared your ex’s will find it and make fun of you for something inside of it. You fear your true self will interfere with your life. I want to embrace pure emotion, pure truth and everything else inside of me that I keep secretive or mysterious most of the time. This is my project, care to join?

That’s all for now! Check back soon for MUCH more….

Email me: love.anonymously.yours@gmail.com

*An-Y*