Running Away Will Never Make You Free

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Have you ever just thought to yourself “Enough is enough, I’m outta here!”? Lately, I find myself saying it a lot. At work. During college stuff. Even just at home. I feel like the adventure and the spontaneity have ran out of my life along with my hope. Today my checking account overdrew by a few dollars and I was charged a $34 fee. If I don’t have the money in there, do you think I have the money to cover that fee? Probably not. I had to call my poor mother and she is wiring me a little money so it’ll be positive until payday. I don’t know what I’d do if she didn’t help me out every once in a great while. I also have to drop my summer classes because there isn’t any financial aid for them and I don’t have the money. So, I’ll be just working all summer and not getting some more education like I want to. Oh well. I guess I will just look at getting another job and work like crazy. I have three research papers to finish by this weekend, that might happen. Life is stressful sometimes, ya know? Right now I’m at work and the hotel has five channels because it’s storming and the satelite can’t get a signal. So, it’s been one hell of a night. It’s days like today that make me want to jump a plane and get out of here so badly. Part of me wants to take off to California and just live near my wonderful side of the family and another part of me wants to take off to Oregon and go to school as soon as possible, which is about two years sooner than planned. And then I realize something. Running away never makes you free. I’d still have money issues. I’d still be working a lot and still have school constantly. If I ran off to California, I’d have to live with my Mom again and be there with no friends. I’d be surrounded by family, but after awhile, I’d die without any real friends. If I ran off to Oregon, I’d have no one. I’d be where no one knows me. At times, that is the appeal of disappearing to there for school. But at other times, I’d have to say I couldn’t do it. Why? Because of mornings like yesterday. I woke up and let the dog out of his kennel and then we played in the bed and I laid there with my boyfriend, (I should give him a name, eh?), let’s be simple and from now on, I’ll refer to him as *Joe*, and that’s not his real name. But hey, I’m supposed to be anonymous, right? So where was I? Oh yes, yesterday morning Joe and I just cuddled and played with the dog in bed for almost an hour. It was so much fun. It was too cute. It’s moments like that, that I realize I love my life. Problems come and go, but friends and true love, stay where they’re supposed to be, in your heart. That’s my sentimental lesson of the day.

So, I know I had said I was thinking of doing a weekly top 13 or something like that every Monday, I think it’ll be Wednesdays and it may be something else. I still have to brainstorm what, but I want to do a weekly, fun thing. Any ideas are more than welcome via email or comments on here.

Sorry to be so short today, but I don’t have anything exciting to write for you all to read and I’d hate to bore you with nothingness. I’ll write a bunch later or tomorrow, promise. 🙂

With Love,

*An-Y*

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