More Than Anything

randyspicture.jpg

Those are the words my boyfriend uttered a year or more ago to me, sent me this image and ensured me that he loved me more than he could ever imagine. We’ve been together now for almost 1 year and 7 months and I couldn’t ask for any more than that. Sometimes, we fight over ridiculous small things and sometimes I get angry because he’s being lazy or he’s being a smartass when I’m trying to be serious with him, but it’s still more than anything. It’s hard to believe the people we’ve become together. For some reason, I am embarrased to tell people how we really met, because technically, Randy and I met online. It was random and out of the blue and we talked online a lot. We were just “friends” you might say and we liked to chat about random things and I would even give him girl advice. Around the time we started chatting, I met Mike, my ex. So he heard everything about Mike and I’s entire relationship and we were just good buddies online. It’s hard to believe how far we’ve come from then….we lived around 45 minutes away from each other and I never once actually thought, relationship, with this guy I’d met on Yahoo. Down the road I’d learned that he had let it cross his mind a few times, but didn’t want to attempt something long distance. I was oblivious at the time that I would end up with this man and he’d be everything I’d ever searched for. After the short few months I was happy with Mike, he spent too much time in a bar for us to really be together, I was only 18, so I was always the designated driver that could go pick up her drunk boyfriend who has no driver’s liscense from the bar each night. He used me, I was too broken to realize it at the time. I didn’t talk to Randy for awhile for the next couple months and in that time period, Mike had cheated on me, lied about it and then left me for a 30-something woman with three kids. I was heartbroken, don’t ask why, now I think I was nuts. But, one day, I was online at my Grandma’s and Randy messaged me. We exchanged cell phone numbers and then the text messages went berserk. I didn’t have a computer where I was living at the time, so when we could, we’d text each other and talk about life. I was living in the country also, so just to get a good signal I had to drive up a hill or head up to my barn in the right spot. It was during this time that I realized how fun, how sweet and how great Randy really was. When you’re not face to face or even talking to someone, you realize a lot about them, if they’re being honest. For me, I had nothing to lose, this guy didn’t really know me so I always got an objectable opinion from him when I needed it the most. Once again, I never thought I’d ever hug or kiss this man on the other end. My father broke news to me, a few weeks after the text messaging had begun, we were moving. Where? To the larger city, right outside of where Randy lived. I couldn’t believe it, it was crazy. I just kept thinking, at least I semi-know someone there and we can be friends. When I told Randy, via text message, he instantly responded that we should hang out when I get moved. I agreed and couldn’t wait to meet someone new. Again, I never thought relationship, I was done with them for awhile. A few days after the move was in place, Randy texted me wanting to know if he could call me. I was out with some friends and didn’t want to turn him down, so I said of course. That night, even with friend around, I talked to him for awhile. Later that night, we talked on the phone for 2 hours. The next night, two or three hours. The last month I lived out in the house in the country, I would spend hours on top of the hill where I had a signal and just talk to him and it made me happy. We had so much to say to each other and we both seemed to just be comfortable talking to each other. It was amazing. But still, I said no way we’d date, I wasn’t looking for that! My friend would always giggle when I’d get a text or a call really late at night and say, I bet I know who that is! Eventually, we got moved and the very next day, Randy and I had plans to go to a movie. He paid for everything, and I was just in shock. I didn’t ask him to do that, he just did. I hadn’t had a man do anything like that in so long. It was one of the funnest nights of my life. After an adventure in both the movie theater and Steak N Shake, we went to the university in town and sat on a bench with our backs to each other talking. That night when I got home, he hugged me and said goodbye. For the first time I had a slight thought of hmm…maybe. But I still wasn’t looking for anything serious, I was sick of heartache. A few nights later, some friends came to visit me and Randy came over to hang out. It was that night, after he saw how nuts I can be with my two best friends at the time, that I started my little crush. When I was with the two that visited, I was a crazy person and always had too much fun, and Randy really seemed to enjoy me more for it. It was unbelievable, I’d thought for sure he’d have thought I was completely weird, haha. We would talk almost ever night for hours and eventually the question of, “do you like me?” came up in a strange way. I was embarrassed to say whether or not I did, because I still was afraid and I still just wasn’t sure. Finally, after several hours or calls, we did tell each other there was a mutual bond there. And then the night came that changed my life forever. Randy came over to watch movies and just sort of hang out. We were in my bedroom listening to random music and hanging out when he playfully tackled me and it was first time we really touched intimately. Later that night, we cuddled on the couch and watched some movies and as he left, he kissed me in front of the door. A few nights later, we jokingly toyed with the idea of “seeing” each other, or being exclusive or whether or not the titles would come into play. I was still treading carefully and we were just unsure how slow or fast to take it. A few days later, we did adopt those titles of boyfriend and girlfriend and haven’t looked back. He’s seen me cry more than anyone else ever has, he’s made me laugh and smile and so angry that I could hurt him, but in the end, he’s everything I’ve ever imagined for myself. In fact, he’s more. We live together in a small apartment and both work and both go to college and we struggle, but for me, all that matters is that when I lay down at night, no matter how bad my day was, I’m laying next to the greatest man I’ve ever met. And I love him, more than anything.

*Sorry I got all sappy guys, haha. I just really needed to get some thoughts out. I never tell anyone how we really met because I just let it bother me for some reason and think I’ll be judged, but what am I so afraid of? I have the greatest love in the world and maybe there is something to this fate idea, how else do two people who really belong together this much, randomly meet in the world wide web and happen to only live so far from each other and then actually have a chance to live minutes away and start this amazing journey?*

With love,

*An-Y*

2 Responses to “More Than Anything”

  1. stevielyn Says:

    I just wanted to leave you a comment and tell you that your story is amazing and you shouldn’t be afraid to tell anyone. There is nothing to be embarrassed about. You are lucky to have found such a great guy! Good luck in all you do!

  2. anonymouslyyours Says:

    Thank you Stevielyn, he may be a pain in my ass sometimes, but he’s still the love of my life. I guess that I still just worry what people think of the whole meeting online thing, I usually don’t let things like that bug me, but for some reason, it’s still hard for me to just come out and tell most people.
    *An-Y*

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s


%d bloggers like this: